How To Survive At Work
Currently viewing the tag: "management"
In the good old days, people had real job titles, you know, like butcher, baker, candlestick maker. Your job title, quite correctly, reflected what you do. In today’s modern workplace, where people do the grand sum of fuck all most of the day apart from sitting in meetings and pretending that they’re of some […]
silver bullet (n): the new strategy, usually written on the bag of a cigarette pack, that means that last year’s sales figures will be improved by 200%. Always misses its target.
Imagine, if you will… one of France’s major wine-producing Chateaux has been taken over by a former Sales Director and Management Consultant. As they […]
Consultant (n): Highly-paid person who asks you for your watch, tells you the time, and charges you £50,000 for the pleasure
That’s not my definition, actually, that came from someone I used to work with who observed, quite correctly, that the company was being fleeced by people who knew less than we did. They were […]
Shit magnet (n): A new manager or director who arrives in a new business and promptly finds himself surrounded by brown-nosers, arse-lickers, pooh-claimers and assorted office fuckwits.
Directors usually spend a couple of years in a job at most. This is usually because there’s an offer of bigger money from somewhere else, […]
non-believer (n): person who does not believe that this year’s strategy is the “chosen path” for the business, and has demonstrated either vocally or non-vocally their disagreement with the “chosen path”
What’s the most disturbing aspect of the following situation?
The Managing Director of a mid to large-sized business stands up at a sales conference, […]
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